{"id":4852,"date":"2020-10-30T10:41:14","date_gmt":"2020-10-30T10:41:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=4852"},"modified":"2020-10-30T10:41:14","modified_gmt":"2020-10-30T10:41:14","slug":"sonny-without-cher","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/30\/sonny-without-cher\/","title":{"rendered":"Sonny Without Cher"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>I was listening to Sonny and Cher on our record player when I noticed that you had chewed my index finger off whilst we were fucking<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>You asked for forgiveness as you had no intention of disfiguring me<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I made light of the accidental loss of my finger by noting that I had seven more plus two thumbs<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Later when I was cleaning my teeth I noticed my severed digit in the pan<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I had to think fast so I stuck it up my arse for safekeeping as I planned to have it reattached next day<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The surgeon at the hospital was incredibly skilful and sowed it back on without any natural scarring<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I took a photograph of my repaired finger and sent to you on my mobile<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>However for some reason you took offence at the photo and broke our engagement off<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I later learnt that all my Sonny and Cher records had been destroyed when you set fire to my flat<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Twenty-three innocent people died in the blaze but thankfully no other record collections were lost<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was listening to Sonny and Cher on our record player when I noticed that you had chewed my index finger off whilst we were fucking You asked for forgiveness as you had no intention of disfiguring me I made light of the accidental loss of my finger by noting that I had seven more [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4852"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4852"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4852\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4852"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4852"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4852"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}