{"id":5412,"date":"2020-11-15T20:37:24","date_gmt":"2020-11-15T20:37:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=5412"},"modified":"2020-11-15T20:48:26","modified_gmt":"2020-11-15T20:48:26","slug":"dinner-with-rebecca","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/15\/dinner-with-rebecca\/","title":{"rendered":"Dinner with Rebecca"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>I hate that new sculpture\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>What sculpture<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>The one that is supposed to celebrate Mary Wollstonecraft<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Have you seen it<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>No<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I have as I travelled to Newington Green yesterday<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>And I was totally shocked<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Why<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Because she had a cauliflower between her legs<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>A cauliflower<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Yes<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Why were you so offended by a cauliflower<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I am sure that some people like cauliflowers between their legs<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>You are missing the point<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>What point<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>That it was supposed to be her pubic hair<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I am relived to hear that you know<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>When you think about it the pubic mass is like a vegetable<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>That is where you are wrong Phillip<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Do you not look at your pubes in the bath and think of vegetables<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I know that Phillipa does as she has quite a pretty little triangle<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This would be pretty hard for me as I am completely shaven<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Is there a reason for this are you part of a secret religious cult<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I do it as it is more hygienic also it prevents those awful odours<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Is that why you were so annoyed at Mary&#8217;s statue<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Did you want her to be shaven like you instead of adopting a cauliflower<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Anyway in Mary&#8217;s time I doubt if there was much on the market<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Has Phillipa ever considered shaving<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I have never asked her but taking into account the cuts I suffer when shaving I doubt it<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>It is all done with creams and delicate shavers<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Really I would not have guessed<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>What are you going to do about the statue<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Nothing<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>I will get Phillipa to write to The Guardian complaining about the cauliflower and the hurt it has caused you<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Perhaps she can call it Pissed Off Pippa and her Pubic Hair<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I hate that new sculpture\u00a0 What sculpture The one that is supposed to celebrate Mary Wollstonecraft Have you seen it No I have as I travelled to Newington Green yesterday And I was totally shocked Why Because she had a cauliflower between her legs A cauliflower Yes Why were you so offended by a cauliflower [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5412"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5412\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}