I had felt sick that morning and found myself in an unpleasant loo\u00a0in a shopping mall where I shit freely and without reason<\/p>\n
\n
As I looked at the door I saw evidence of recent homosexual activity which sickened me even more<\/p>\n
\n
After an age I reached forward to the paper dispenser and found it to be empty<\/p>\n
\n
Tears of anger mixed with my sweat and ran slowly down my cheeks<\/p>\n
\n
Baise la Republique<\/em>\u00a0I whispered to myself\u00a0Baise la Republique<\/em><\/p>\n \n \n My train had been cancelled and as I waited for the next one the platform became very full<\/p>\n \n The station announcer who I had fucked in a previous life informed me\u00a0\u00a0that the train was now full and standing<\/p>\n \n Which is was when it arrived<\/p>\n \n As I tried to squeeze on to the train a cunt had cross words with me which I ignored although I wanted him to dance in pain to the music of a Kalashnikov<\/p>\n \n He further argued with an ugly woman who scratched his face with her tiger nails<\/p>\n \n But my joy was short lived as I realised that the express that I was on did not stop at my station<\/p>\n \n Which was only a blur as we sped through its familiar surroundings<\/p>\n \n Baise la Republique<\/em>\u00a0I whispered to myself\u00a0Baise la Republique<\/em><\/p>\n \n \n When I arrived late at my place of employment I headed for the shower room<\/p>\n \n To clean myself up<\/p>\n \n But it was closed for renovation and I was directed to a gym two miles away<\/p>\n \n I worked late that day to make up the time and kept away from my tedious colleagues<\/p>\n \n Saying that I was not all that well which they might have guessed<\/p>\n \n On the way home after stopping at the pharmacy<\/p>\n I popped into my local shop and purchased some milk and a bag of sugar<\/p>\n \n But the bag split only yards from my flat and the contents shattered at my feet<\/p>\n \n Baise la Republique<\/em>\u00a0I whispered to myself\u00a0Baise la Republique<\/em><\/p>\n \n \n A soon as I arrived home I ran a bath but found that my lavender bath water was cold as my boiler had blown a fuse<\/p>\n \n I bathed in its arctic waters that evening<\/p>\n \n But at least I was clean and my stomach appeared to have settled<\/p>\n \n I cooked a light meal and watched football on the television<\/p>\n \n My favourite side lost heavily to a team that I despised and were out of the cup for another season<\/p>\n \n Life then took a turn for the better when my sweetheart sent me a text and suggested that we might break up<\/p>\n \n \u00a0As I was a bore and very predictable as well as being a lousy fuck<\/p>\n \n Baise la Republique<\/em>\u00a0I whispered to myself\u00a0Baise la Republique<\/em><\/p>\n \n \n It was time to go to bed I said to myself and soon I was between my cool sheets<\/p>\n \n I then remembered that I had forgotten to feed my budgie only to find that the poor creature<\/p>\n \n Was stiff and dead on the floor its ruby cage<\/p>\n \n It was a warm night and the stagnant air in my flat was heavy and still<\/p>\n \n I was in a dilemma as my pet\u2019s decomposition was near<\/p>\n \n If I left its disposal to the morning the room would stink of death<\/p>\n \n Distribution into the street below was an option<\/p>\n \n As a meal for the feral cats<\/p>\n \n But I loved the bird and he had been my constant companion for a number of years<\/p>\n \n It was then that I decided to wrap him a gentle yellow duster and place him in the rubbish chute<\/p>\n \n Which was nearly opposite my door.<\/p>\n \n But there was a problem as I was naked and my gown was in the wash<\/p>\n \n So I decided to chance it and go to the chute and dispose of my little friend<\/p>\n \n I opened my door with a little apprehension<\/p>\n \n The coast seemed to be clear so I crept across the passage<\/p>\n \n As I did so I thought of my ex and how we would when drunk streak along the passage\u00a0as far as the lift in joyous and gay abandon<\/p>\n \n But those days were long gone<\/p>\n \n I was a bore and a predictable fuck<\/p>\n \n But this was of little concern to me as I deposited my budgie into the vacancy of the chute<\/p>\n \n It was then that the obvious dawned on me as I realised that I had locked myself out<\/p>\n \n With owl eyes I\u00a0stared at the empty passage in despair<\/p>\n \n A cold knotting gripped my poor stomach<\/p>\n \n I had also forgotten to take the binding agent<\/p>\n \n That had been suggested by the pharmacist<\/p>\n \n Baise la Republique<\/em>\u00a0I whispered to myself\u00a0Baise la Republique<\/em><\/p>\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I had felt sick that morning and found myself in an unpleasant loo\u00a0in a shopping mall where I shit freely and without reason As I looked at the door I saw evidence of recent homosexual activity which sickened me even more After an age I reached forward to the paper dispenser and found it to 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