You said it would be forever<\/p>\n
\n
But you left me for a strawberry<\/p>\n
\n
Before the year was out<\/p>\n
\n
Even though it was a Grade One<\/p>\n
\n
Best Kent Strawberry<\/p>\n
\n
I felt compelled to act<\/p>\n
\n
And squashed it under my foot<\/p>\n
\n
I received a thousand -year jail sentence<\/p>\n
\n
Without parole<\/p>\n
\n
But was released within a week<\/p>\n
\n
Due to a jam in the system<\/p>\n
\n
I returned to our home in the Cotswolds<\/p>\n
\n
We began sleeping together again<\/p>\n
\n
And fucked on market days<\/p>\n
\n
So that you would not be tempted<\/p>\n
\n
You said it would be forever<\/p>\n
\n
But I could taste the fruit on your breath<\/p>\n
\n
So I crushed six more strawberries<\/p>\n
\n
And joined the Foreign Legion<\/p>\n
\n
A year later I was killed in a firefight in Somalia<\/p>\n
\n
I left you everything in my will<\/p>\n
\n
And you purchased a failing strawberry farm<\/p>\n
\n
In the Medway valley where you live to this day<\/p>\n
Surrounded by strawberries<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You said it would be forever But you left me for a strawberry Before the year was out Even though it was a Grade One Best Kent Strawberry I felt compelled to act And squashed it under my foot I received a thousand -year jail sentence Without parole But was released within a week Due […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6794"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6794"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6794\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}