I should not be telling you this but I know the whereabout of Steffo and Val<\/p>\n
The cops if they knew this would probably haul me in for questioning and tea<\/p>\n
So when you read this poem do not let me down as cops are best seen and not heard<\/p>\n
But let me return to Steffo and Val both of whom I met at school<\/p>\n
They were quite ordinary lads who liked football girls and the city of Norwich<\/p>\n
Nothing strange there as many people like the city of Norwich<\/p>\n
As you might guess Steffo and Val were abbreviations<\/p>\n
Steffo was short for Stephan and Val short for Valentine<\/p>\n
Val was often attacked by gangs hunting queers and suffered many injuries<\/p>\n
Because of his silly name although he was as straight as I used to be<\/p>\n
Steffo who was the taller of the two just hated people calling him Stephen<\/p>\n
So he shortened his name to sound like a Norwegian pop star<\/p>\n
But I stray as at the age of eighteen they both decided to become vigilantes<\/p>\n
There were two many bad guys out there so they decided to clean things up<\/p>\n
I suggested that they did a Charles Bronson act in duality<\/p>\n
In short they would flash the cash and let the bad guys follow them<\/p>\n
And then as Charlie did in Death Wish\u00a0 they would ventilate their attackers<\/p>\n
Then went on for about three years and left the cops confused<\/p>\n
And believe it or not London began to feel safer and women walked alone<\/p>\n
Steffo fondly remembers castrating a pervert in Regent Park and sending the dick to his mum<\/p>\n
Not to be outdone Val killed a corrupt bisexual businessman with a silver handled pistol belonging to the victim<\/p>\n
Both dreamed as being the serial killers of serial killers and quite quickly this became reality<\/p>\n
London became even safer than Norwich and as there was fuck all else to do the cops began gardening<\/p>\n
But then Steffo and Val spoilt it all by assassinating a much loved (socialist) politician<\/p>\n
In a matter of a few days they became the most sought after killers in London (I know not why),<\/p>\n
My friends then sought my help as I was the Mayor of London and Norwich<\/p>\n
They told me they were planning to kill three trade union leaders a month and a left wing firebrand every quarter<\/p>\n
It was a delicate position as left wing firebrands usually smoke themselves to death before retirement<\/p>\n
That is where my poem ends<\/p>\n
I think I have said too much already<\/p>\n
Poetry deserves much more than this feeble offering<\/p>\n
Till next time I bid you farewell<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Tim Tim Tim<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I should not be telling you this but I know the whereabout of Steffo and Val The cops if they knew this would probably haul me in for questioning and tea So when you read this poem do not let me down as cops are best seen and not heard But let me return to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7935"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7935"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7935\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}