{"id":8635,"date":"2021-09-22T11:25:19","date_gmt":"2021-09-22T10:25:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=8635"},"modified":"2021-09-22T11:48:18","modified_gmt":"2021-09-22T10:48:18","slug":"my-dog-ate-our-heroin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/22\/my-dog-ate-our-heroin\/","title":{"rendered":"My Dog Ate Our Heroin"},"content":{"rendered":"

Annie and I slept in our own shit<\/p>\n

As we always did after a meal<\/p>\n

We would have bathed<\/p>\n

But the bath was fucked<\/p>\n

So we stank together in love<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Later as I stumbled to the bog<\/p>\n

To take a piss<\/p>\n

I noticed that Nelson<\/p>\n

Was walking on the ceiling<\/p>\n

With a stupid grin on his face<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This alarmed me as dogs<\/p>\n

Normally avoid ceiling walks<\/p>\n

I woke you up and you told me to fuck off<\/p>\n

Have a wank if you are feeling horny<\/em><\/p>\n

Nelson then pissed on us from above<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We were both quite awake and rather wet<\/p>\n

And began to appreciate the gravity of the situation<\/p>\n

Someone would have to take him for a walk in the park<\/p>\n

Where he could shit and vomit piss and float to his hearts desire<\/p>\n

But then God answered our prayers as Nelson fell through the broken window<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Next morning wearing only your blue patterned dress<\/p>\n

I cleared the mess up and dumped Nelson’s body in the Chinese bin<\/p>\n

With all the\u00a0 normal shit in there they would not notice a shattered dog<\/p>\n

This proved true as the council collected the chink cafe bin an hour later<\/p>\n

And Annie and\u00a0 I went back to bed and dreamt of our next fix<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

From Shit Diaries and Beyond\u00a0 (2004 – 2022)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Annie and I slept in our own shit As we always did after a meal We would have bathed But the bath was fucked So we stank together in love   Later as I stumbled to the bog To take a piss I noticed that Nelson Was walking on the ceiling With a stupid grin […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8635"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8635"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8635\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}