{"id":9065,"date":"2021-11-01T09:54:33","date_gmt":"2021-11-01T09:54:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stuartpoetry.art\/?p=9065"},"modified":"2021-11-06T00:45:06","modified_gmt":"2021-11-06T00:45:06","slug":"kitty-kitty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/2021\/11\/01\/kitty-kitty\/","title":{"rendered":"Kitty Kitty"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Your arse is hairy\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Said Mary Mary\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>But mine is rather smooth\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I had written this on the wall of a gender neutral toilet<\/p>\n<p>I had also written <em>Veritas<\/em> on the enamel pan<\/p>\n<p>And <em>Aequitas<\/em> on the light blue door<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>From my hiding place I saw a\u00a0 tall man enter the next cubicle<\/p>\n<p>He was wearing a dress which was red with red flowers decorated<\/p>\n<p>I could hear him pleasuring himself and after a noisy climax<\/p>\n<p>A soiled gay girl mag dropped to the floor<\/p>\n<p>Although I was quite disgusted<\/p>\n<p>I let this sad man return to his place in the Houses of Parliament<\/p>\n<p>As he was my local Labour MP a good man but a man with a dirty secret<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I was writing a book about Kitty when I saw a mugger snatch a tourists bag<\/p>\n<p>Instantly I shot him between the eyes even though I did not have a gun<\/p>\n<p>He stared at me for an instant before he fell to ground quite dead<\/p>\n<p>I handed the tourist her bag and suggested that she carry an imaginary gun<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>She smiled and invited me to her flat in Berlin<\/p>\n<p>Her name was Kitty Kitty<\/p>\n<p>Which is identical to mine<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your arse is hairy\u00a0 Said Mary Mary\u00a0 But mine is rather smooth\u00a0 &nbsp; I had written this on the wall of a gender neutral toilet I had also written Veritas on the enamel pan And Aequitas on the light blue door &nbsp; From my hiding place I saw a\u00a0 tall man enter the next cubicle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9065","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9065","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9065"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9065\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9102,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9065\/revisions\/9102"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9065"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9065"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9065"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}