Anna and Anna were in their centre bed together<\/p>\n
It was Sunday morning and the sun was water bright<\/p>\n
They were watching the seagulls fly by<\/p>\n
I have a problem Anna<\/em><\/p>\n That being<\/em><\/p>\n The language of birds<\/em><\/p>\n What troubles you Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Well as you know we are normally stalked by the seagulls when we are sunbathing on the beach<\/em><\/p>\n Yes<\/em><\/p>\n And depending on how much they annoy us we either tell them to piss off or give them our droppings<\/em><\/p>\n The question I have is do the seagulls actually understand English<\/em><\/p>\n Do they understand me when I am reading passages from Jonathan Livingston<\/em><\/p>\n Who knows<\/em><\/p>\n When you tell them to fuck off because they shit on the balcony do they have any understanding<\/em><\/p>\n It is most likely the tone of my voice<\/em><\/p>\n You have a gentle voice Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Then what is your point<\/em><\/p>\n My point is that some seagulls migrate to Africa each winter<\/em><\/p>\n The very seagulls that we feed and love in the summer travel\u00a0 thousands of miles to Oumbo Oumbo Land or some other godforsaken place within the Dark Continent<\/em><\/p>\n It is very likely that no English is spoken there<\/em><\/p>\n So how do they understand the natives<\/em><\/p>\n They probably spend most of their time trying to avoid the spears<\/em><\/p>\n That is cruel of you Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Remember who is making the coffee this morning Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Where is the coffee from Columbia Brazil France<\/em><\/p>\n No just Sainsbury’s<\/em><\/p>\n Anna we stray from the point<\/em><\/p>\n Do seagulls understand language<\/em><\/p>\n Do dogs understand language<\/em><\/p>\n Even pigeons<\/em><\/p>\n If I was in France and threw a ball into the sea and said fetch Rover would the dog understand me<\/em><\/p>\n It would recognise your gesture<\/em><\/p>\n Okay point taken but if I said Rover your suppers ready would it know what I was saying and come in<\/em><\/p>\n Yes but Rover would smell the food<\/em><\/p>\n Fuck you Anna if I fed Rover and let him out but told him not to shit in the garden would he understand me<\/em><\/p>\n No but he would feel the brick that you would throw at him when he shit in the pansies<\/em><\/p>\n We are getting off the point<\/em><\/p>\n I was discussing seagulls and language<\/em><\/p>\n What do you think<\/em><\/p>\n About seagulls<\/em><\/p>\n Yes<\/em><\/p>\n I think that the birds are totally instinctive<\/em><\/p>\n That they do not understand language<\/em><\/p>\n Yes<\/em><\/p>\n What about dogs<\/em><\/p>\n Dogs do not have wings<\/em><\/p>\n They do not fuck off to Africa every winter<\/em><\/p>\n Dogs understand language<\/em><\/p>\n Even French dogs<\/em><\/p>\n French dogs understand French<\/em><\/p>\n But what if the owners were French and English<\/em><\/p>\n Then I would hope that the dog would be bilingual<\/em><\/p>\n Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Yes<\/em><\/p>\n I have had a thought<\/em><\/p>\n That being<\/em><\/p>\n Lets get tattoos<\/em><\/p>\n Where<\/em><\/p>\n On our bums for the summer<\/em><\/p>\n You mean to satisfy the male gaze<\/em><\/p>\n Does it bother you<\/em><\/p>\n Depends on who is looking<\/em><\/p>\n You are so shallow Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Does the male gaze bother you<\/em><\/p>\n Men look at beautiful women<\/em><\/p>\n That is quite natural<\/em><\/p>\n I mean the poet has placed us naked in bed together whereas we could have been walking around a supermarket<\/em><\/p>\n He likes the idea of two gay girls discussing whether they should have tattoos on their bums<\/em><\/p>\n Stephen<\/em><\/p>\n I am busy writing this poem<\/em><\/p>\n Don’t be a grump<\/em><\/p>\n When you created us did you think about the male gaze<\/em><\/p>\n Why do you ask that<\/em><\/p>\n Well we are what might be considered attractive gay girls<\/em><\/p>\n Why are we not unattractive brick shit houses<\/em><\/p>\n I can turn you into unattractive brick shit houses if you like<\/em><\/p>\n I dare you<\/em><\/p>\n Don’t fuck about Anna you know what he is like<\/em><\/p>\n I do not want to walk down the road and have people staring at me because I am so gross<\/em><\/p>\n Or he might place us in one of those awful cripmobiles<\/em><\/p>\n I cannot believe that you said that Anna<\/p>\n What<\/em><\/p>\n Cripmobiles<\/em><\/p>\n I did not say that Stephen put the words in my mouth<\/em><\/p>\n Without beauty the world is nothing<\/em><\/p>\n That is why I created you as you are<\/em><\/p>\n It is the male gaze but I will not discuss it further as I have a poem to finish<\/em><\/p>\n Anna<\/em><\/p>\n Yes<\/em><\/p>\n That was a bit spooky<\/em><\/p>\n I know<\/em><\/p>\n How did it all start<\/em><\/p>\n We were discussing language and seagulls<\/em><\/p>\n And dogs<\/em><\/p>\n And then I suggested that we have tattoos on our bums<\/em><\/p>\n What type of tattoo<\/em><\/p>\n Seagulls I think would be fun<\/em><\/p>\n I would like you to have Jonathan Livingstone Seagull on your bum and I would have Anthony Gull on my butt cheek<\/em><\/p>\n Is that okay Stephen<\/em><\/p>\n Fine by me<\/em><\/p>\n We could pop down to Gillian’s parlour and have them ready for Christmas<\/em><\/p>\n I agree but let’s have a coffee as I am parched<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Anna and Anna were in their centre bed together It was Sunday morning and the sun was water bright They were watching the seagulls fly by I have a problem Anna That being The language of birds What troubles you Anna Well as you know we are normally stalked by the seagulls when we are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9166"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9166\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9172,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9166\/revisions\/9172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuartmillerosborne.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}