Of late Henry has found himself feeling uncomfortable on his journey to work

At first he thought it was a problem that he had acquired

A feeling of being smelly and grimy and smelling of shit

But it was not him but the many advertisements on the trains

On the Central Line he counted eight ads relating to vaginal dryness

And three about thrush and other similar conditions

On the Bakerloo he was assaulted by seven erectile disfunction and two incontinence advertisements

This distressed Henry greatly and he had to shower at the office gym

Which was even more of a trauma for him as he had to share the wet room with Fat Frank

Who had a genital skin condition caused by his enormous bulk

One day when travelling on the Circle Line Henry noticed an advertisement about Simeon Stylites

Who spent spent thirty-nine years on top of a column in the desert so that he could be nearer to God

This interested Henry even though it was next to an advertisement discussing anal odours and their causes

A week later Henry purchased a column from London Transport and erected it next to Greenford tube station

He can now be seen at the Ruislip end of the platform to the left of the female body hair advertisements