Stuart Miller-Osborne

I like the railways I really do like the railways I do not like disabled people Even though I am disabled myself All they do is whinge whinge whinge As it they are angry at the world For giving them wheels instead of legs I am not like that as I am philosophical I do […]

Joe As you know I ********** a great deal But of late I have grown bored of this recreation I feel drained all the time I am suffering from fatigue Do you have any ideas About what I should do next Yes What is that Become a socialist Really Why Because it suits your profile […]

I was seduced by my teacher On a school trip We stayed in a hotel in Harrogate And she invited me to her room Three days before My sixteenth birthday Miss Peterson Abby I owe you a lot Thank you for my birthday present Did you feel used Joe Far from it It was one […]

Hello My name is Peter George I am an Anthropologist You might have heard of my book A Study of Primitive Behaviours Which was published last year I live in Notting Hill Gate With my wife and son In large Victorian house Which I inherited From my late father It is painted white And has […]

I have a fridge magnet for you What is the city Oslo I do not have a fridge Jerome Really Yes Then how do you keep your food cold I eat it hot That figures What a silly question that was

You told me an immense lie Petra There is no view of the bridge From your apartment You are right Felix London Paris Rome Berlin I have apartments In each of these cities But only one has a view Of a nineteenth century bridge

I spent such a lovely summer with Maude But now it is drawing to a close As she is returning to France Little by little the summer is fading The colours once so vibrant Are now looking frail and old I love autumn but I also hate it As it is the gateway to winter […]

Joe I hear that you know Dungeness rather well My cousin Scott lives there Scott is an artist I would not live there Why Because of the power stations Power stations They are nuclear All that radioactivity It is not good for you The power stations are perfectly safe They are safer than safe If […]

The artist David Sun is dead My brother knew him well And photographed him On his last bed I have a few of his colourful paintings Including the one of Cobb Junction Station In the weeks before he died David cut his arm in an accident The scab can be clearly seen In his final […]

Joe Forgive the clickbate title I have woken up this morning And wondered why we do things That we know will harm us A girl I know named Ham Is sitting on a lonely railway track Waiting for a nuclear train They occasionally pass What will she achieve Nothing She will die and the train […]