Stuart Miller-Osborne

I used to go for walks with Horse Avril Smithe Mainly by the River Avon If the sun was kind and warm We would swim in the shallows That was until the day When we forgot our swimming costumes Avril suggested that we swim quite naked All my prayers had been blessed In this short […]

It was a hot day in Bath and I was carrying My Virginity in a carrier bag It was a present for my sister’s birthday However I was careless in Marks & Sparks As I began chatting with a girl I fancied Her name was Horse Avril Smithe She suggested a Wimpy for lunch An […]

Blue white blue white Blue white blue white The dusts of the mountains Have revealed their mysteries

Marie Popol you are accused Of slaughtering a farmer With his own shotgun How do you plead I do not recognise this court That is of no matter how to you plead I milked the cow for over a year Ankle deep in liquid shit I stole its milk for profit The calf suffered because […]

Joe poor Joe I was so sorry that you have suffered a petit mal You poor darling Thank you for your grace Grace But it was not a petit mal as I often stare into space I was suffering from a virus an infection gained from those dark of skin And ended up in distress […]

Poor Joe has been unwell The normal type of unwell But unwell and so fucking moody Today in beautiful Richmond Whilst I was walking by the river I started to feel doolally I rested not far from Virginia She ignored me as normal Damn it Sky Daddy I feel so nauseous So I went to […]

I am an inflatable poet Who collects red sealing wax Which I keep in a shed Under lock and key Sitting in the bath With Stuart Keeps me sane

The “Dumb Blonde” joke may be rooted in the 1775 satirical play Les curiosites de la Foire,in which a blonde French courtesan named Rosalie Duthe is portrayed as being less than intelligent Mark Twain once quipped that “while the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys redheads derive from cats. Ann I found these […]

Their daughter Evangeline Acted in a few films in the seventies Two of them directed by her father

Fishing by the bridge On a hot summer afternoon These were the dream days Of my childhood That are now just fond memories Of happier times Mark Marie and Lou