Stuart Miller-Osborne

It was not my birthday yesterday And I received some lovely gifts One was a small water colour Of a becalmed yacht shining On a painted ocean near a painted sea I have hung it on a wall In the middle of my garden Near the faux foster frees Another gift was a thin volume…

Sofi was the code name Of a German terrorist Who had been involved In at least three political assassinations She is tall for a woman and very slender I have her wanted poster in my desk drawer It bears little or no resemblance to my wife Margit is very well known at headquarters As she…

Their jade bodies contrasted Against the pale sheets

Jack and Jill Were asleep in their bed Their pale bodies contrasted Against the jade sheets I was in their room of rest Painting them with a loving brush I had been commissioned To capture their likeness

I live in a world without history It is nice place to hang out I can go around and call myself Cirencester And have a girl friend named Dap Duck

Judith has a studio in Bang It is near the railway I can hear trains passing As I lay in bed in the morning By then my sister is working In her studio of the veils She is mainly an abstract artist Working with very bright colours Whereas I am a lyrical poet Who has…

When I was nineteen I suffered a serious car crash in Portugal Apart from cuts and a few bruises I was totally uninjured The driver of my taxi Who was also unhurt Likened the whole episode To that of a religious experience Whilst believing him I found my experience To be far more erotic

Whilst on holiday in Cyprus I was like any good English girl Shagging myself through the island That was until I met a chap named Paul Who was hung like a deformed horse He took me to another dimension Wow wow and many times wow But I dropped him like brick And took Holy Orders…

I was hitching on the toad to Damascus Without much luck So I removed my panties And flashed for lifts This said I did not accept any offers As I live in a bungalow

I have invited Saul and Paul To my riverside studio I always paint in the nude Which appears to excite them As they are both fully erect Although I am quite tempted I scold them gently And note that we are here To create art and not babies