Stuart Miller-Osborne

Six black birds in an hourglassare now on the loose They are searching for a hourglsdd

Hi Joe Maude I have not seen you for such a long time Are you good Being censored as normal but okay Josie She is in Bali As her best friend’s wedding And you I am flying out on Saturday Wow I am sooo jealous Are you still acting Yes Your play It is in…

Hi Joe Hi Pete What are you doing here Fucking your wife But she has left me Really I wondered why I had not been given a cup of tea I have been meaning to ask you a question mate Yes she is very good but is a bit too keen on anal No not…

I used to have a black and white cat named Percy I loved Percy very much and was very sad when he died My sister Julie found his body after he had been run over But my parents did not permit me to see his remains I later asked Julie about Percy’s remains I asked…

Not far from the Fenwicks Departmental Store In the beautiful city of Canterbury There is a statue of a lamb Fuck knows why it is there But it is a nice creature and brings me much pleasure Last week some joker smeared chocolate on its arse Quite why is a mystery to me When I…

Outside of the house of Samuel Johnson there is a statue of a cat. They have remembered him with a statue of his cat I feel that the great man would have approved When my beloved father died it was proposed That a statue of his favourite cat Snowy be erected But sadly Snowy was…

Do you dream Frequently Describe your dreams I only have one dream Just one Yes Describe your dream I dream of a marble statue Weeping Tears of Ink Black Ink

Richard Elegance was a seventeenth century pirate Yet few records of him exist in maturity Richard is said to have vanished with The Elegance After a disastrous tour of the Spanish West Indies But this is all speculation and has never been proved There is a coastal pub on the harbour arm named The Mysterious…

I have always been fascinated by The Dark Lady of the Sonnets But I have never really considered her appearance You and I have been charmed by this mystery Maude Who was The Dark Lady If she existed at all Historians have narrowed this down But it is only guess work This said on an…

I am my own worst enemy I shoot from the hip But am deeply loved By those who hate me