Stuart Miller-Osborne

Always be humble Bumble As people will Like you more Never be arrogant As that corrodes Your gifts Can be taken From you In an instant Always remember that

Are rabbits real to you Yes I only dream about rabbits Why Because I hate reality

My parents were married On this day in 1950 I hate this day Why Because I like to dream But now I am faced With nothing but reality

Would you like to dance I have not danced For so many years Neither have I Why now I am not sure It just feels right Bath does that to you

Your somewhat aberrant behaviour Requires an explanation Fanny Why I was only expressing what I felt You stamped on the sandcastle The child was quite upset This child had just killed a crab I rather like crabs Arthur Was it cannibalism Not exactly I cannot be sure Here is the description of cannibalism It was […]

I saw the au pair’s bare bottom this morning It was a complete accident as I had forgotten my briefcase And had returned to our Highgate house My briefcase was waiting for me on the dining table I then popped into the nursery once again to say goodbye to Gordon Valencia was bending over his […]

It appears that many people Suffer from mental health problems But do they suffer or are they blind To the great beauty of the world I am frequently told that I suffer And after reading the shit that I write I can see how this conclusion is reached But I disagree with them as I […]

I have a large orchard So populated with trees That I have problems In harvesting the views beyond I should have become a rich man With these fruits at my disposal But never have I seen Or even picked for pleasure A solitary red apple hanging

On a trip to India some years ago A mystic quite seriously told me That one cannot drown on dry land I have yet to really work that one out

It is the day after The Longest Day I have decided To bake a cake I have only used One ingredient Kindness I have put Kindness in my Cake