Stuart Miller-Osborne

Ray and Raychel frequently lay together On a deep blue blanket Which had originated in the Atlas Mountains They were known to remove their shirts And watch the journey of the sun As it passed across their exposed flesh

When I seventeen I was seduced by a teacher On a night crossing Between England and France At that rather young age She was all that I desired Large breasts and a wet cunt But I still found time To understand my voyage As a coasting sailor Might have found it

I am a Catholic explorer And seek to discover forgotten lands So that we might civilise The many savages within I am aware of the dangers I face And have asked God to protect me He came to me in a dream And told me to always Sleep with a palm Under my mattress

I am on my daily journey Around this decaying city It is full of traitors Many not born On this island I would like to correct This appalling geography Before it contaminates The perfection of our sewers

The trees are in their fourth phase Green gold in the early sun The remains of summer Can still be seen spread By the recent storms All my beautiful patterns Now lead to Trieste

Mike and I have broken up I thought he was the one As he ticked all the boxes But his fucking music Is more important than me This said there is a problem As we jointly own this flat And cannot afford to split It is going to be an interesting winter

Joe was standing In a legoland Bus shelter More wet than dry He had tired of humanity An elderly woman Sat opposite him She had two bottles Of scotch in her pathetic bag And was protecting them Like they were the children That she had abandoned Before she was twenty years Everybody was smoking What…

I once told my geography teacher That she was emotionally constipated When she asked me what I meant I told her that she was full of shit I was suspended for that remark A few months after I returned I was sent off During a rugby match against St Piran’s School My crime was that…

It was a hot afternoon I had finished my work And decided to cool off In the Rex Bleu Rex A double bill was advertised L’ Etranger and L’ Etranger The cinema was empty Save for the regular lovers I slumped into my usual seat And drank iced water Touched with lime Sleep overcame me…

The story of Lady Godiva Is very well known But few know the truth As she was just a visiting mermaid Who happened to be passing through the city On her way to visit a sick friend