Stuart Miller-Osborne

Sir As we live quite close to The Zetland Arms in Kingsdown we consider it our local if such an animal exists. However we did notice a couple of errors on page six of the What’s On supplement in this week’s paper. Firstly Kingsdown is nearer to Walmer than it is to Deal by a good mile and […]

I am a lazy fellow who spends much of his time Near his own swimming pool Or the swimming pools of his many friends It is an almost dreamlike existence Swimming and sunbathing But also enjoying the bare breasts of the women present   And here it ends for me as I am now beginning […]

On the 13th of July a renegade seagull swooped and stole a recently purchased sandwich from an unfortunate traveller at Ramsgate Railway Station It was chased along the platform by this man until it settled on the tracks and then proceeded to violently tear open the fragile packaging Shortly afterwards the London train arrived at […]

David was a polite man Who lived in Margate With his parents He had two friends Polly and Said   He was sleeping With Polly but not with Said Which was quite normal As Said was a red parrot Whereas Polly’s feathers were blue

Anna Wake up What is it Tea Bag is sitting naked in the front garden Good for her But the neighbours might find it unusual What next to a beach Anna The delivery guys might take advantage What delivery guys Why do you think she is doing it Ask her Dog Days It is the […]

I am rising from my bed at about four each morning So that I might watch the dawn break over the sea The air has not cooled even though there has been no light For some hours since the previous day collapsed into the night   A peculiar weather system is developing over Portugal at […]

Jane and I are enjoying iced coffees on the narrow promenade in Sandgate The day is very warm and the week promises to become hotter still These are the dog days of summer when the sultry air becomes lethargic and still My wife has asked me to read her a poem written by Thomas Hardy […]

I often launch paper boats on windy lakes To see how far they can travel before saturation These voyages teach me a great deal about infinity     Outlaw    

My father is a wonderful man who was born English and bred English One can rely on him in all circumstances as he always has an answer He dies not care for queers and blacks but still has raised thousands for charities Some say that he is out of his time and and has old […]

Hi Anna where have you been I was beginning to get worried I was visiting Jasmine Tea Whatever for Because she invited me How is she Well Has she heard from Outlaw He is still in Lima   Is it true that she has a Koloman Moser On her bedroom wall Yes It must be […]