Stuart Miller-Osborne

I was born in Sheffield but live in Trieste I was born in Trieste but live in Sheffield

I am sitting on a large map of Greece In the most eastern room of an abandoned cellar Grace is scared of cats and I am scared of mice We often exchange our fears just for fun The world ended about ten years ago I have not seen anybody since then Although I visit my…

I often sit in cinemas completely alone Even though the house is quite full The reason for this is that I am in each movie Whether I like it or not this is my reality It might be a western or a spy thriller A horror film a comedy or a love story I am…

Are you excited Stan Excited about what Our holiday Of course I am Just think in a few short hours As I have said before Stan and Jane deserve a sunshine break I agree with you Then why are you writing Because I hate flying It takes my mind off of flying It is not…

The best author will be the one Who is ashamed to become a writer I am a poet Should I suffer shame What are you doing Stan Thinking about something Nietzsche noted We have a busy day tomorrow Our flight leaves at ten thirty We deserve the break as life has been hectic Can you…

Stan Have you ever seen the movie Emmanuelle Yes I saw it in Paris some years ago Did you like it Yes You I liked it but still thought it to be old fashioned Explain That world does not exist any more It was a world of innocent pleasures When did you see it Jane…

I own a small piece of land in Scotland It was the prize in a workplace raffle I have not visited this piece of land Even though it has views of Ben Nevis This small area of land is totally mine And is situated near a railway Which I find pleasing as I like trains…

if you want to do something to your advantage then quit this poem

I had been searching For what I casually termed The Samuel Beckett Bog For a number of years I had visited many toilets But none had come close To satisfying the approved criteria That was until yesterday When I found this bog Hidden in a southern coastal town It was perfect in all aspects Reasonably…

I met my girlfriend Betty Bleach At the bus stop on Joe Hill She was very attractive And I fell for her straight away But she was a perverse girl With some questionable habits One of these involved urination Which is an innocent pursuit in itself But Betty insisted on pissing in my mouth Which…