Stuart Miller-Osborne

  • Introduction
Illustration of a bird flying.
  • Letter to my Former Self

    When I was thirteen years old I received a plastic table football set as a Christmas present This gift took my imagination and I soon arranged a match between Chelsea and Real Madrid I designed a programme and purchased a trophy for the big game Chelsea won the match 5-3 with Peter Osgood scoring twice […]

    May 3, 2017
  • Golden- Golden

    Sleeping on the golden railway platforms Is not as bad as it is made out to be Think of it You always have company and see plenty of trains Sometimes kind people give you alms Others tell you how much God loves you Whilst some just call you a cunt and tell you to fuck […]

    May 2, 2017
  • Scarborough Sister

    Scarborough Sister Miss Lister Scarborough sister I have missed her Beloved sister   This mysterious rhyme dropped from the pocket of John Wilkes Booth soon after he assassinated Abraham Lincoln Historians have tried to decipher the code but have achieved little success   Miss Lister Scarborough sister Please fist her I have missed her   […]

    May 2, 2017
  • The Garage on top of the Hill

    There is a garage above the town Which I own I often sit on the forecourt Near to the Esso pumps And listen to Army of Hardcore By Scooter It tells me to Start the War Cause we are on the floor I do not understand the lyrics But like the music Which is enough […]

    May 1, 2017
  • A Sketch by Modigliani

    You are half broken A —–series—– of —–dotted—— lines —— Are you alone with your love? I have my doubts  

    April 29, 2017
  • John Keats Superhero

    What are you writing? A short story What is it called? John Keats Superhero Fanny looked at me John was poet A magnificent poet That is where you are wrong  Have you really read his poetry? Every word And you have never spotted the code? What code? Just check out nightingale   My heart aches […]

    April 27, 2017
  • The Beautiful Daughters of the Sea

    My daughter is far more beautiful Than your shabby daughters I do not fear your sea monster As Andromeda will be rescued By the invisible Perseus Who will then marry her sweetly   In Greek mythology Cassiopeia the mother of Andromeda boasted that her lovely daughter was more beautiful that the Nereids To punish her […]

    April 25, 2017
  • Andromeda on my Wall

    I have a painting of Andromeda Hanging from my office wall She is naked and chained to a rock And is awaiting the invisible Perseus In view of this I leave my office door Slightly open when I am not working  

    April 25, 2017
  • The Galloping Major

    The Major galloped rapidly across the field of battle On his trusty horse Berry Hall Captain January is at it again what a crazy fellow he is He is no longer a captain He is a Major now What is he doing? He is drawing the shell fire away from our trenches So that we […]

    April 25, 2017
  • The Subject of my Dream

    As I walked along the beach I found a large marquee A barefoot woman of about forty years approached me Would you like an olive? This island is famous for its olives The woman although having the complexion of an islander had the most vivid blue eyes Are you English? I cannot remember my nationality […]

    April 24, 2017
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Stuart Miller-Osborne

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