Stuart Miller-Osborne

Eileen lived in Dorchester Avenue in Isleworth With her Mum and Dad She liked Isleworth and often visited the shops To see what was new and was about to be delivered For her second thirty-sixth birthday The kind manager at the local Tesco Express Let Eileen see the six storerooms in the store This made…

I often visited a retired sea captain who spent most of his bedridden days passing dried peas from one elliptical bowl to another When I asked him why he did this he told me it was to confirm the meaninglessness of his existence After thinking about his answer for a number of weeks I suggested…

I am surprised that he remembered me As we had only met briefly In the Portobello Road Many years previously But when he saw me in a shopping mall He greeted me like an old friend We chatted about our trips to America Before he was recognised by autograph hunters After we promised to stay…

I have a friend Who calls his sister Apricot Even though her name Is Jane His reason is that He is also called JANE And he does not want To cause confusion As both his parents were roadies

In a matter of an hour I visited three castles And a colourful rockery You may think That these are wild boasts Of a tired apricot But I can assure you That this is not true As ripe apricots Do not ride bicycles

On the last day of the war I shot an enemy soldier But I did not kill him He propped himself up Against a ruined wall And smiled sweetly at me As he knew he was dying I reached out and held His bloody hand And for the next hour We listened to the birds…

You were in front of Bath Abbey And asked me to read poetry to you As you sank into your deep warm blue I chose the poems of Thomas Hardy   This was my only travelling book You closed your eyes and listened But then your mutt licked me gently And interrupted my pastoral flow…

You were in the bath And asked me to read poetry to you As you sank into your deep warm blue I chose the poems of Thomas Hardy   This was my only travelling book You closed your eyes and listened But then your mutt come into the bathroom And interrupted my pastoral flow  …

I have never visited Battersea Park But whenever I visit this park I see the ghosts of my former self

I have some very lazy habits such as throwing my used shirts into an untidy pile My slovenly behaviours are tolerated by my wife as she loves me greatly But of late I have noted that she has begun to converse with my lonely shirts As she is keen to share their life experiences and…