Stuart Miller-Osborne

The diplomat’s daughter was tied to a chair in the basement of a house in Oud-Zuid He blindfold was removed and a mobile phone was thrust into her face Explain our terms to your father fair one The girl spoke in Spanish but did not betray distress What did you say? I asked him if […]

We had tied the banker to the high wooden chair His PA was strapped to the bed Both were gagged But we were treating them well During a meal break the Banker asked us whether we were going to kill him But I did not answer as the moon had remained silent His PA was […]

You did well my friend You are my butterfly It was the sixth day of my visit to Florence As normal Doris met me promptly at ten She had been a member of the Baader-Meinhof Group for many years Her pale features betrayed the time that she had spent in prison With Rudolf Hess and […]

Before you left I painted your features on a brown paper bag You were to wear this as a disguise All assassins are disguised In one way or another It is the first rule of their profession  

I am a truck stop whore This is a fact I am also a professor of mathematics at a prestigious redbrick university I adore the perfumes of the human body and often do not shower for days before I lecture hoping that my students will share my odours What is sex without odours? I always […]

The world is at war This is the final war There will be no peace As most of the good men are dead I am hiding in the woods And am watching as the enemy soldiers Hunt for survivors Occasionally a rifle shot breaks the silence In my possession I have Joanna’s wooden box It […]

Yesterday we were visited by a country parson Who found us naked in the orangery When he enquired of our dress We told him that we were Adam and Eve And that we were watching The many trees grow in our garden   Yesterday we were visited by a country parson Who found us naked […]

Thistle Soup Collect twenty golden thistles Crush and add to boiling water Add ginger Filter Pulp again Serve with red fruits     Angela was sitting in the small boat used when the causeway was flooded Gerald was the captain of the Maid of the Sea Not enough for June You should have been here […]

Concrete Just over four years ago after writing a poem about the pleasures of watching cricket in August I purchased a chocolate bar from a garage on the A4 Since that day I have been very attracted to concrete   Grand Avenue In late October I plan to plant marigolds along one side of the […]

I am not alone I am not alone as I am often in conversation with my pen and pencil They reside on my green oak desk Next to the Caspian Captains   Gregory I am attracted to Gregory He is attracted to me But we will never have sex Because I own his notebook   […]