Stuart Miller-Osborne

Pauline picked up a beautiful stone During her day at Chesil Beach She was a friendly girl much admired But found love quite out of reach   Terence Barr was a farmers son Who hailed from Wiltshire Deep Handsome and strong he knew Pauline And knew that he was hers to keep   But the…

It was your decision to remain on the island So that you could finish your book of flowers But the skies are now more grey than blue We sleep with an extra blanket on our simple bed As time seems to drag its sadness around I beachcomb as you write It is a lazy but…

I would like to wake up next to you In our small cottage in Provence   I would like to bring an exotic coffee to you On the shaded terrace that overlooks the stream   But then I realise that the 07:21 is running late again For the third time in as many weeks  …

The pop star Lilly Allen has promoted The benefits of masturbation I agree with her points fully But masturbation is not really ideal If one is a keen mountaineer     Ice Cream Parlours for the Blind My parents own an ice cream parlour Which is situated opposite the pier I help out on Tuesdays…

I have just completed my first book It is called Face Sitting Can Be Fun Its subject as you can guess Is about the nocturnal habits of magpies If the book sells well Then I might consider a sequel   Big Pants I have always worn big pants As they are far more comfortable than…

I should be free to use any word I choose No matter how offensive I will not be offended If you use the same word at me But I will stop you If you try to extinguish my freedoms  

I have a friend called Joan who likes drawing on herself It is an odd occupation But she enjoys this recreation   We visited the Lido Gerard last week and I noted That she had written the following on her thigh   LE THÉÂTRE EST UNE PROBLEME SOCIAL COMME TOUTES LES QUESTIONS ARTISTIQUES I asked…

You are as nice as your house I am homeless What are you reading Madonna’s Child by Alfred Austin Who is Alfred Austin Was Who was Alfred Austin An English poet who was the Poet Laureate for a number of years My Great-Grandfather knew him well Alfred Austin fell asleep on the 2nd of June…

Personally I like life You seduce people without realising it Is that a virtue or should I be ashamed of it In friendship I found something that’s missing in love I expect nothing from life Are you crying No Do not cry Beauty always makes me cry Poetry is resistance I do not agree with you…

Personally I like life when it is most like a novel   I am alone and I need to love   We need nature not the other way around    She likes vegetables    I prefer fruits from Southern France    Let me taste    Your lips    I adore ruby lipstick    It is…