Stuart Miller-Osborne

My Christian name is Janet Jane Jones I have always been confused Why my quite ordinary parents Gave me such an exotic name Especially as my second name is Smith That is why that when I reached maturity I decided to change my name To that of whosoever I was speaking to    

Whilst walking in the winter woods I sent a selfie to Yang Chi Sheng as I knew that he would soon be executed My photo showed me in my pink anorak and hiking jeans as well as my Converse trainers which were totally impractical for my day The trees behind me were bare but were…

I experienced my last mortal thoughts on the Death Star I dreamt of coloured sands running between my fingers On this the most colourless of stars

Pink Hairbrush I sold my pink hairbrush to a greengrocer six months ago To this day I am not sure why I did this As it left me without a hairbrush My hair became matted and I began to resemble Medusa Needless to say this did little for my social life And boyfriends were a…

A security guard found her shitting between two cars in an exclusive car park After she had hitched up her jeans the guard touched her shoulder roughly She slapped him hard in the face He sprayed her with unpleasant spray and she collapsed hitting her head on the side of a car You are killing…

On the day that the glow worms stopped glowing Under my soft cushioned window I questioned the moon and the birds on branch But received no answers worthy of my thoughts I searched the dark rocks and imagined their illumination But nothing moved apart from the seasons change Death do not be proud as you…

For many years I kept a grasshopper In a sage silver cage Some said I was cruel But it did not pine for the wild And on each morning of its long life I would feed it on the cool morning dew On the day that it died you constructed a splendid tomb From soft…

Molly Polly Holly and their sister Dolly Jolly Lived in a small cottage named Autumn Wally Folly Nobody knew how the cottage had got its name As its builder had moved quite mysteriously to nearby Thame

I caught Saoirse our housemaid smoking in her room again Smoking in the house has been expressly forbidden by my father After opening the window I said that I was going to report her to my parents She began to cry and said that if I kept quiet I could watch her bathe within the…

I caught Saoirse our housemaid smoking in her room again Smoking in the house has been expressly forbidden by my father After opening the window I said that I was going to report her to my parents She began to cry and asked of the Papin sisters who lived on Le Mans I said that…