Stuart Miller-Osborne

Save Dave from the Rave was one of my original guardian angels But he was never really up to the job Under his watch I met with a number of accidents So he was laid off without protest And is now in charge of security at the Pearly Gates

I have four guardian angels whose names are Harry Barry Olimpique and Caesar They look after me each day I know that they are there Although they remain unseen Betrayed only by the odd ripple of light Of late I have needed them more But that has always been another story

Did you see that topless girl on the beach today  No  You must of been blind then as you walked straight past her I did not see a thing  She was blond with long hair   You are quiet I am troubled  Why  Because I do not miss things like that normally I take them…

Bo Bo had decided to swim the Atlantic As he wanted the two worlds to meet But he abandoned his grand idea As he could not find room for his toothbrush

a mediocre man never writes poetry he imagines poetry

When I am in Afrika I often think of Santander A strange occupation perhaps but very rewarding Sadly the opposite is not true For when I am in Santander I rarely think of Afrika This is an annoying habit which I am trying to cure  

The sea mists are often visible from my blind windows They hang low but do not obstruct my view These are my grey gardens I would like to cultivate these gentle gardens But this is not possible at present    

The white sails of your small yacht Are fading into the green grey horizons   You are not travelling alone I am following your voyage

In a previous life I used to be a character actor Specialising in the broody artistic types But in 1994 I was cast as a clean cut Englishman In a European co-production set in Cornwall It was whilst filming I met a Swedish Actress Her name was Liv Rohm From the start I felt that…

1   Find your nearest convenience store 2  Wait for Morgan Freeman 3   When you spot him say Hi Morgan my name is (your name) and I come from Iceland