Stuart Miller-Osborne

Julie and Jacques were sitting at a small green table Between the Metro lines near Dubonnet station Julie was wearing an elegant red dress and Jacques was wearing a smart suit They were sharing a bottle of Dubonnet and were taking no notice of the stationary train In short that was all that was happening…

When you have been in the game as long as I have You often think that you have seen it all But yesterday an alpaca interrupted our football match And proceeded to stop the game He was shown a red card by the referee But refused to leave the pitch And now faces a very…

Until about about a year ago Mrs Moore lived next door I only saw her when she hung her washing out But she did not speak to me And it was about then that I began to get fascinated With the contents of her washing line You must understand that this was not in strange…

My name is Margit Kaufman I have been in jail for twenty-eight years My crime was that I was considered to be a terrorist In that time I have faced thirty-two penalties And have saved nine of them I have also invented a new brand of sticky toffee There is talk of my release There…

The Christ Bird The Christ Bird has risen from the sea It has passed the limits of our horizons And is heading towards its Pale Heaven   Migration Christ Bird Grey Sea Blush Sun Golden Clouds Pale Heaven

Holy Christ Grey Blush Golden Pale Journey Bird Sea Sun Clouds Heaven

I am an oligochaeteologist which in short means that I am expert on earthworms Most of us ignore earthworms and shy away from them without thought Women especially do not like earthworms as they remind them of a flaccid penis or worse Malevolent children cut these wonderful creatures in half but this does not kill…

If I looked at this sunrise Through monochrome eyes Then it would not impress me at a

Many years ago I attended a Byron exhibition in London which I found very interesting However one of the exhibits haunted me a great deal It was an envelope full of Lady Caroline Lamb’s pubic hair The misguided girl had sent these to Lord Byron in a futile attempt to woo him As I looked…

For about twenty minutes this afternoon I thought that I was a cow I crossed a country road on all fours with a water bottle in my hand My fellow creatures looked at me as if I was mad but they understood my theatre For as much as you might want to hug trees there…