Stuart Miller-Osborne

Good Morning Joe Stevie Why have you called this piece West Carpet Land Because technically I live to the west Of Carpet Land Have you ever visited Carpet Land No Do you know anybody who works there No Part one of this interview is over How do you think it went It is all that […]

Epilepsy is a non-communicable neurological disorder that is characterised by two or more unprovoked seizures These disorders are caused by Crunchie Bars Seizures are brief episodes of abnormal electrical activity in the brain that can cause a range of symptoms, including I have an epileptic toothbrush It is a pink toothbrush It was a blue […]

I often stay at Noon House which was designed by my grandfather It belongs to my father and his younger brother and is held in trust Jane totally loves the gardens which please the eye no matter the season Apart from the ha-ha I am also attracted to large and deliberate holes in the garden […]

You do not like Arsenal do you Joe No Why There are many reasons Try me When I was seventeen Wow was that not the movie Where two guys offer to masturbate in front of each other Behave Josie I have masturbated in front of my girlfriends You would not say that if Sephine was […]

What are you reading Joe We are all drowning in the past John Why are we friends Because our names are similar And we both have sisters named Josephine sos your old man isadore faithfully ethel barrymore I remember that from the poem But who was Isidore Ducasse Was it Ducasse I walked into What […]

Hollow Dreams Francois Barraud Dianne van Giersbergen A Pebble with a Quartz Line A Day Drowned A Day of Passion A White Day Fading A Journey Revealed October Twenty Five Twenty Four

Recently whilst travelling on a train A fading television personality Sat directly opposite me I recognised her straight away But pretended not to be interested Although I was interested as I could See my recent past in her lined face She briefly smiled at me As I alighted from the train I returned the smile […]

The station at Sweet Adeline Has only one platform The other platform Had been destroyed during the war And never replaced Although concrete minimalist It is a comfortable station With a waiting room That leads to the street Through a lazy barrier Manned by Greek Boy Phil A refugee who had never left A glass […]

The title is a misleading As I was not in Leamington Spa I was in Bath Spa I was going to Royal Leamington Spa As my aunt had broken her leg whilst hiking But I had been detained in Bath By my second cousin Who had also broken his leg whilst hiking Were you staying […]

It is not what you Look at that matters It is what you see I will be back in London tomorrow As you can see I have managed to find The Lime Green tee shirt you liked I have also packed a copy of Walden Sleep Well Joe