Stuart Miller-Osborne

A beautiful woman Came up to me In a car park And asked me To kill her annoying Neighbour I asked her what was in it for me Expecting a carnal reply or something similar She smiled and said in a husky voice That if I carried out the task She would cook me some…

After walking in the sunshine For many gentle hours I am again walking in a fog The once brilliant colours Are now hidden and grey All roads are now closed

Thank you Agatha I think that I might kiss you Are you the artist I suppose that I am this artist How successful are you Looking at your house You must have enjoyed great success I have never sold a painting Do you own all of this Yes every brick every flower I even own…

I would like to travel Back in time And fan the she-devils Whilst singing My golden songs

It pleased Laura To love Stephan They wore identical sandals As they walked towards the beach

Yesterday was an exceptionally warm April day I visited a huge viaduct in the middle of the town Which had lost none of its astonishment Later I purchased a well worn bible Which appeared to have spent its early days Within a small country school Various childlike thoughts Had been added Jesus is my Saviour…

She Sells Sea Shells She Smells Sea Shells

I should have known better When I became a gardener At the convent on the hill I dreamt of naked nuns Swimming in the soft lakes Whilst I hung their bad habits On the olive trees nearby But I was disappointed As the head nun was German And her name did not translate well From…

On days like this I could drink the sea And replace its vacancy With your salty tears

The weather forecast for today is good Hopefully at about twenty-five degrees Before I retired I programmed my Valerie To serve me breakfast in the nude But she has malfunctioned again And is wearing my college sweat shirt I rang the manufacturer to explain the fault And was told that the Valerie model Has a…