Stuart Miller-Osborne

He dreamt that a writer of erotic fiction had been stabbed to death on the doorstep of her dream cottage And that he was trapped on the summit of the Eiffel Tower and was quite terrified as the only way down was in a glass lift He dreamt that a famous friend took him on…

I took a flick-knife from your handbag And sliced the pineapple into sections The fruit was sweet with a hint of sourness This was our first successful date   Later meetings were not so warm As you liked apricots And I liked pears But we both gave way And exchanged our fruits freely   We…

A carpet of buttercups accompanied us as we rested exhausted by the day. They slept as we slept and awoke with us turning their delightful faces towards the agreeable sun. We were on a golden ship on a golden sea with no land in sight. Celebrating our abandoned journey.   Thomas Lane (1847)    

I have a Hunter Watch Which I keep on a Chain In my waistcoat pocket Pull the chain To relive the pain It speaks to me often I look at its hands guiding me slowly Towards the end of the day Pull the chain To relive the pain We have long conversations Never overheard As…

In the office all the girls were enchanted with Winifred’s snapshots taken during her visit to Laura Knight some weeks previously How was Cornwall? Heavenly we saw no rain at all which is unusual for Cornwall Winifred showed her friends her photographs which had been carefully mounted in a pale blue album This is me…

The Hut In the middle of the racecourse There was a wooden hut Which had been attacked by an arsonist This saddened many of the racehorses   Alpine Major Amber decided to only climb the smaller mountains As her love of God was withering   June Postman I saw a postman Standing in a sunny…

You invited me to eat at a restaurant at the end of the universe I drove there as it was only forty minutes out of the city I wore a suit and tie as I wanted to impress you You wore a gay summer dress It was very warm so I removed my tie and…

As I travel each morning I have noticed That the leaves Of the summer trees Caress the passing trains I enjoy their innocence    

At the railway station there was a small room away from the booking office which really did not have a use It led in the general direction of the toilets and was populated by one tired vending machine which sold chocolate and crisps On the windowsill facing the platform were a number of books which…

Clerihew One Plato invented scatter weed Which in its day was a feat indeed The downside was it covered most of Rome And he was banished from the city and ordered home Clerihew Two Understanding Soren Kierkegaard Can be painfully hard He was supposed to be an existentialist But in truth I have sold my…