Stuart Miller-Osborne

Whilst I was in London yesterday I found an art gallery That was exhibiting A number of drawings By Tom Roy Howard He was one of my lecturers At college and we had a brief fling Which we kept very secret So imagine my surprise When I found some life drawings Of me asleep on […]

Being a hamster is rather jolly Nobody bothers you And you are left alone You will not get fat As each home has a treadmill I call mine Oscar I know that I am pretty safe Unlike the cats and dogs Who are forever Looking over their shoulders And do not get me started On […]

“antiquities A cat caught/fought a mouse in my house Which do I like that line It is descriptive but also rather dull I started this poem yesterday In the firm knowledge That I would finish it in the future There is not a cat Neither is there a mouse Or a a house in Laos […]

I have three cats named Moggy Moon & Mary I do not know Why I called this poem Lavender Blue and Black As it is about the drapes That I purchased today Whilst out shopping Silly Girl

I once swam naked with my brother And when underwater Noticed that his penis Was hanging and drifting Like a drunken seahorse This really turned me on And I soon began to feel very wet Silly Girl

There is much debate about assisted dying at present Our over/under worked government of liberal thought Is taking time out from bullying those without defence And finding new and original ways Of wasting taxpayers hard earned money To discuss something that is so absurd that it defies belief What is being missed and I do […]

I am not against abortion But it does make me uncomfortable The current laws are to me are rather weak W says that I am a pro life type of chap I suppose I support the right to choose As long as each party has a choice Including the unborn child H supports my thought […]

A few summers ago When on a beach in South Devon Jean and I watched a girl Dive into the cold sea Wearing only a pair of Jeans Which confused me as she prefers dresses Especially in the kinder months She is trying to shrink the shrink the jeans That is quite an extreme way […]

Has summer left us Or have we been invaded

I imagine a world free of bestial sin Where people are strong brave and fair This is my world take it or leave it Y