Stuart Miller-Osborne

My Madonna is in fact a torch Her ample breasts light up When I depress her backside Which is very useful When storms interrupt The electricity that is supplied To our small lakeside towns

my poems of the road are often criticised as being too off the wall which i find difficult to understand as i write all my poetry whilst travelling

i have two friends war and helle they are both gentle girls who breed toy dogs in an abandoned farm both of my friends are identical to look at although they are not sisters even i find it difficult to tell them apart this is a poem about war and helle and not an advertisement

Joe you once told me that you have Spanish blood That is correct One has only to look at Josie and myself Raven looks and the like I agree but do you consider yourself Spanish or English I feel more English than I do Spanish That is the basis of my question Do you believe…

Alice für Deutschland Interesting times Joe I agree Are you familiar with the following The AfD has embraced a highly controversial policy called remigration which it defines as deporting migrants who have committed crimes Yet the term can also refer to the mass deportation of migrants and their descendants Very much Do you agree with…

I have been with my girlfriend For six long and happy years Yet in all that time I have never seen her fully naked The odd nipple but little else This frustrates me a great deal And I have become obsessed With her beautiful bottom It is neither small nor large Fiona’s bum is just…

I like the real curries That you get in colourful boxes Why do say that Gin Because I do not want you To waste your time Creating orange/organic curries

The above number is not random It is the sum total of my writings Between 2013 and 2025 Mostly consisting of poems fictions and satires It is an impressive total And I am comfortable with it To celebrate this achievement I have decided to rewrite a poem a satire and a fiction Not to better…

Whilst I was at university I met Shirl Block and Nelson And together we created Mellow Yellow Which was sometimes known as Yellow M It was a punkish group very much on the tails of the genre And to out great surprise we became rather popular Possibly it was down to Shirl wearing a red…

Snowdrops Keep falling On my head Ted Some have Even landed On our bed Fred Then you shall be Wed Zed Said Ned Lynn Jeff Jed