Stuart Miller-Osborne

Was it a Madras No a Vindaloo Messy Yes the silks were badly stained Shit happens Joe Shit Happens

Alright you have talked me out of being an intimacy coordinator I did not realise that it would be so much hard work Thank you for your concern Joe Do you realise that I used to be until recently An Equality Diversity and Inclusion Manager You traitor Aphra Just because you are so good looking…

Joe why is there an intermission in the middle of this Joe Why should there not be an intermission As it gives you time to have a piss or just throw up It worked with The Brutalist That movie was about a week long This Joe and Josie with be over in minutes Thank the…

Joe Exciting news Hazel I have been hired As an intimacy coordinator on the remake Of Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom Have you seen the movie Yes it was Josie’s first date movie Did she like it She still talks about it What do you remember about it We are saying it a…

My Madonna is in fact a torch Her ample breasts light up When I depress her backside Which is very useful When storms interrupt The electricity that is supplied To our small lakeside towns

my poems of the road are often criticised as being too off the wall which i find difficult to understand as i write all my poetry whilst travelling

i have two friends war and helle they are both gentle girls who breed toy dogs in an abandoned farm both of my friends are identical to look at although they are not sisters even i find it difficult to tell them apart this is a poem about war and helle and not an advertisement

Joe you once told me that you have Spanish blood That is correct One has only to look at Josie and myself Raven looks and the like I agree but do you consider yourself Spanish or English I feel more English than I do Spanish That is the basis of my question Do you believe…

Alice für Deutschland Interesting times Joe I agree Are you familiar with the following The AfD has embraced a highly controversial policy called remigration which it defines as deporting migrants who have committed crimes Yet the term can also refer to the mass deportation of migrants and their descendants Very much Do you agree with…

I have been with my girlfriend For six long and happy years Yet in all that time I have never seen her fully naked The odd nipple but little else This frustrates me a great deal And I have become obsessed With her beautiful bottom It is neither small nor large Fiona’s bum is just…