Stuart Miller-Osborne

I was in Portugal for a year Teaching English as a foreign language You visited me only twice As we were trying to avoid being together But this was to no avail As we both now remember That night in Lisbon Which changed our lives

When we realised she went travelling I had an affair with a teacher Who I had met on a cross channel ferry We were both in denial for over a year

It pains me to see these children Being led into a blind night And told that all dawns are false These corrupt roads lead Only to the slaughterhouses

It was one of those house parties That only the English might hold On the lawns of an ancient manor house  Our hostess was a woman named Shell Dove  Nobody knew her real name  Although she was rumoured to be Jewish  Her features were those  Of a woman of the Mediterranean Perhaps French Spanish or…

Hi Joe Sorry that I had to charge off but I totally forgot about the rehearsal What a stupid and very tired girl I am I am You were looking much better when I left I have thrown my voodoo doll away Typical £ Store shit You will be happy to know that Cora has…

I saw a goat fall from a high cliff It was an horrific experience Yet I watched its entire fall Just before it hit the ground It seemed to decelerate And almost floated downwards When the dust had cleared I walked over to the goat Which was lying on its back And although stunned It…

When I was at university I became infatuated with my lecturer It was a close but totally asexual relationship Yet on one hot Athens afternoon It all changed as I found out who he really was It was nothing sinister just rather sad I had always tried to avoid sadness He was on his computer…

To all my friends  A question  How many of you masturbate at work  A quick trip to the gender friendly bogs  The Pleasure Palace awaits  But do clean up the mess  As the tiled floors  Can be slippery and dangerous  A recent survey noted  That over 40% of employees  Masturbate at work  10% in meetings …

Hi All  Silly Boy here  Girlfriends they are so overrated  I met a girl named Meryl  The other day  She was from Stoke  I like girls from Stoke  Meryl thought I was the best thing  She had seen since her cat  Visited its flat mate on the A4 I told her that I was hung…

I am known as a poet By those I select Friendly souls Without criticism It is suggested I rite A select occupation Naked travel A journey shared