Stuart Miller-Osborne

I thought of myself as a writer But failed dismally I thought of myself as a poet But failed dismally I thought of myself as an artist But I had no talent You will always be a chemist Max Nothing but a chemist My father had said to me She is a very exotic creature […]

Need I say more All words are now spent

That is the question

I am working late Please do not disturb me

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It was an early start for me yesterday Really Yes Why I was meeting my publisher for coffee They are not publishing your shit again Sadly they are But is not about me at all It concerns a conversation I overheard Whose conversation Two girls Two girls Well two women Were they pretty I would […]

Sir Nobody has called me Sir in a long time What is your name Seymour And yours Jennifer but people call me Jenny I like to read poems to people I meet in the street The streets are my home I am sorry to hear that Have been for thirty years Since Martha died Then […]

What about Spoons Mummy – I hear that SuperSpoons in Ramsgate is right next to the beach. Really Can we go on hols to Ramsgate Mummy I am not sure if Mummy can afford that darling Now that Daddy has run off with the au pair Mummy Yes Rosebud Rimbaud and Verlaine hung out in […]

Sir Nobody has called me Sir in a long time What is your name Seymour And yours Jennifer but people call me Jenny I like to read poems to people I meet in the street The streets are my home I am sorry to hear that Have been for thirty years Since Martha died Then […]

I have a microwave I have just figured it out I can now use the microwave Wow Joe Wow But the fucking thing has blown up I need to buy a new microwave And have checked the options online I am totally confused I sometimes wish I was a woman But I am not a […]