Stuart Miller-Osborne

The night was still There was no air The moon was dal-inrto I was unable to sleep

Silly Boy had always thought that the word commando Had originated from the Afrikaans word kommando Which referred to a temporary military unit Used by the friendly Boers in South Africa But he soon found that it had another meaning As he looked up Caron Jane’s summer dress in a pet shop She was totally…

For a number of years I loved my Beautiful Betty Blue But she became mad and left me before the final credits So I asked Caron Jane from Accounts to join me for a swim This proved to be difficult as we loved deep in the countryside There is never an answer only a problem…

I was deep in a most comfortable dream Swimming light reflected in the beautiful sea You were on the wide sandy beach reading With our cerise parasol caressing the breeze And then it happened I heard a crack as our bed After many years of erotic service collapsed and died I was no longer swimming…

A few years ago I popped into London As my Silver Surfer magazine had arrived Storms had been forecast for the day And as I walked along Oxford Street The summer skies broke violently So I sought shelter in a nearby cinema An obscure Russian movie was being shown It was set deep in the…

Today is June the Seventeenth Yesterday was Bloomsday I did not celebrate this day As I was sick in bed Normally you serve me breakfast On June the Sixteenth at exactly six am Wearing your long linen nightdress Which used to belong to your grandmother You would then lift the hem of this historic garment…

About a week go I began writing another pulp novel I rented out a room on a partially disused railway station Hoping to work without too many obvious interruptions But everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong As I soon picked up a virus which has unpleasant flu like symptoms I had written…

The people next door had a warning Attached to their large front gate As warnings go it was an attractive warning But I never ventured along their path Because to be truthful I was quite scared of dogs But then out of the blue Shelia and Richard Invited us to their tenth anniversary party It…

When I was quite young I fell in love With my geography teacher Although she was quite innocent Of my sad and lustful thoughts God then subtly smiled on me As whilst delivering papers On my rural paper round I saw my geography teacher Quite naked after enjoying a bath This made me very happy…

Recently I purchased A blue cushion From a redundant church In certain lights My blue cushion Becomes a silver cushion