Stuart Miller-Osborne

I have just completed my first book It is called Face Sitting Can Be Fun Its subject as you can guess Is about the nocturnal habits of magpies If the book sells well Then I might consider a sequel   Big Pants I have always worn big pants As they are far more comfortable than […]

I should be free to use any word I choose No matter how offensive I will not be offended If you use the same word at me But I will stop you If you try to extinguish my freedoms  

I have a friend called Joan who likes drawing on herself It is an odd occupation But she enjoys this recreation   We visited the Lido Gerard last week and I noted That she had written the following on her thigh   LE THÉÂTRE EST UNE PROBLEME SOCIAL COMME TOUTES LES QUESTIONS ARTISTIQUES I asked […]

You are as nice as your house I am homeless What are you reading Madonna’s Child by Alfred Austin Who is Alfred Austin Was Who was Alfred Austin An English poet who was the Poet Laureate for a number of years My Great-Grandfather knew him well Alfred Austin fell asleep on the 2nd of June […]

Personally I like life You seduce people without realising it Is that a virtue or should I be ashamed of it In friendship I found something that’s missing in love I expect nothing from life Are you crying No Do not cry Beauty always makes me cry Poetry is resistance I do not agree with you […]

Personally I like life when it is most like a novel   I am alone and I need to love   We need nature not the other way around    She likes vegetables    I prefer fruits from Southern France    Let me taste    Your lips    I adore ruby lipstick    It is […]

No one slept last night    No one ?    Even people who went to bed    Sorry, but how do you know that?   Because of the full moon    As it happens, its full tonight    It keeps people like us awake    Without the moon the world is nothing   I would […]

About a year ago you came to my flat blind drunk And vomited on my carpet I cleaned your mess up almost immediately And therein lay my problem For I tried too hard with a more than savage detergent And it left a pale stain on the carpet It is not your vom That is […]

My poems are better read in the open air So please do so without delay Or you will be banned from reading them at all I have returned from my college On my brand new pink bicycle Whilst I was there the title of Whitman’s Leaves of Grass Was explained to me It seems that […]

Of late I have been touting my literary archive around some of the worlds most prestigious universities Most of them have told me to fuck off as my archive is of no interest to them They tell me that I have more chance of walking on the moon Than becoming a poet This has upset […]