Stuart Miller-Osborne

I like to read philosophy books when I am in the bath The works well when I am quite alone But it does prove difficult when my wife joins me in the bath As instead of of studying my books I just stare at her magnificent breasts She sympathises with my dilemma And often lends […]

My mother died a few weeks ago and today I cut the first sod of her final resting place She had wanted to rest with with my father But as we were digging I noted a greying in the damp soil For the first time in many years my father was looking up at the […]

Planned events are often totally unplanned And come as a total surprise They have little consistency I today disturbed my fathers ashes With little cause Because of the purity of my mathematics

I was carving sad angels into the soft wood of her catafalque This task did not please me as I could hear the angels weeping loudly within Their tears fell quietly on to the cold marble tiles And produced an inland sea I had planned to escape But I knew that I was drowning

Two railway carriages one blue and one chocolate and cream Were dreaming in the shade of the heavy trees I soon found the Lady Beatrice She was naked save for a crimson cloth loosely held With the upmost respect I touched her pale breast And felt her soft heart beating beneath Twilight was drawing its veil over the thinning […]

I threw a bottle of pink powder over the Holy Man And rendered him unholy You told me that there were twenty-nine types of lipstick But I have only counted twenty-eight I am decorating the colour-blind pigeons of the city Although I favor no colour There is an angel trapped in my washing machine It is […]

Chile I often find dead birds On the roads in Chile This fascinates me As I have never visited Chile   Super Motif I was told by the authorities That they did not execute One of the perpetrator’s of the hotel massacre Because of his exotic beauty   Beauty should always be forgiven And its […]

Automatic 19    Tonight I stayed in and watched a football match on my tiny television The match was stopped briefly as flares were thrown on to the pitch I was so excited by this event that I sent a photograph to Africa In return I received a single red rose and a poem that […]

There is a school in my sandwich I found a goat tied to a pipe in a railway tunnel Joshua thought he lived in Croydon I plan the margins that can be found in school exercise books These were the type of comments that I faced each day when working in my father’s snack bar […]

In the last few days I have begun to hate myself There are many reasons for this I have argued with my friends And they no longer speak to me The coffee shop in the high street has now closed I feel that God has abandoned me But know that this is not true As […]