Stuart Miller-Osborne

During the war my father hid six refugees in the garden shed At first I thought that his reasons were altruistic But when the war ended he did not release them They now number twenty-eight And I believe that his true intention was to keep them as pets

A number of years ago you were caught sunbathing topless By a tradesman who came to repair the garden fence You crossed the garden without covering up to show him your detailed plans As you returned and sensing the mans embarrassment you apologised for your lack of modesty The tradesman replied that he was a […]

In each wood there are selected paths Which lead to the soft meadows beyond These paths are not that easy to find Although you cross them with a frequency That defies mathematics and any logical thought

In a small cupboard under the stairs there is a small alarm with flashes green every thirty seconds I have installed this alarm to warn me of the escape of any noxious gases To ensure that this essential alarm is in full working order I check it each night before I retire This takes me […]

We have a very large bath in our farm cottage which I am told was previously used as a cow bath This said the size gives one a sense of freedom but it does have its drawbacks as the bath overlooks a farm square This square is often the scene of rural riots caused by […]

When I am mad and feary When all the tubes have gone I crawl along High Holborn And think of you with nothing on   SMO   Celia Celia When I am sad and weary When I think all hope has gone When I walk along High Holborn I think of you with nothing on […]

Honor Baxter has collected teapots decorated with flowers for many years Which was a little unfortunate as she suffers from Hay Fever She was also an actress who specialises in Noel Coward revivals Honor Baxter currently lives in St Margaret’s Bay in Kent

Oh Superman Many years ago I went sailing with my sister during a memorably hot summer We would wake up early so that we could witness Superman flying across the sky If he did not appear then we would have a light breakfast before swimming in the turquoise bay   Oh Superman One of my […]

The days are beginning to fade into each other As oils do when reaching water Things have become shapeless I have given up counting the stars And I no longer have an interest in the years Yet you are still counting the years As we sleep quietly under the stars

I am considered to be something of an expert on Art History It is a subject that I have followed for many years I have written books about art which are always published on April the 4th It is my favourite day of the year as it precedes April the 5th   I was in […]