Stuart Miller-Osborne

A number of railway bridges between Reading and Newbury are currently being either modernised or replaced as the process of electrification gathers pace The passenger footbridge at Newbury Railway Station which dates from 1910 will shortly be replaced by the newer bridge at the western end of the station I had made these notes whilst […]

I always like to be naked in the Desert It must the open spaces That makes me want to shed my clothes I often come across people like me Quite naked and miles from anywhere In the movie Marylou Masturbates Dean and Sal As they drive through the desert I do not remember that in […]

In the August of 1974 I went to Corfu with Viola We were invited by a couple of friends The invite was so sudden that we hardly packed anything at all Only the essentials were taken to Corfu We did not think to take a camera And because of this only one photograph was taken […]

How have you been? I have missed you so much Dad I have missed you Victor My departure was very sudden and in a way I was glad that you did not fully understand my final illness What do you remember? Well mummy said that you were very ill and the angels might take you […]

The magnificent Frigate Birds were following my yacht I knew that we were not far from land as the charcoal gulls are flying fish were becoming frequent visitors My Portuguese stowaway seemed to spend all of her time on deck sketching these beautiful creatures I had found her under a blanket in the forepeak after […]

Exiled from your homeland You have farmed This derelict land For twelve winters It is unlikely that you will return To the country of your birth And you know That you will fade Without protest Into these unforgiving hills   Two Polish soldiers who were exiled after serving in the Second World War found refuge […]

After tea I walked the short distance to the sea and waited I had only been there a short while when I saw Beryl walking down the road towards the beach She was wearing a green bathing suit with a tropical towel wrapped around her waist My luck was in as a train from Minehead […]

Why are big breasted Shakespearian scholars discussing the roles of the minor characters with me? I do not admire these lectures And why are their snow ski’s speaking to me from the cupboards under the stairs? It is a well-known fact that I hate skiing Find out the answers to these two pressing questions and […]

I had been awake for just over an hour and was watching a tiny Jenny Wren jump from branch to branch on a small tree that shaded my kitchen window My phone rang Houston we have a problem Is that you Viola? Yes Has your brother traced you? No it is far worse than that […]

I OFTEN STOLE UNDERWEAR FROM MY MOTHERS DRAWER AND POSTED THE ITEMS TO MY MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT AS HE DID NOT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT A CUNT HE REALLY WAS   This wretched piece of doggerel was added to a random library book by the author on the 9th of August 2017