Stuart Miller-Osborne

you caught us by surprise as you flew above the calm trout waters a shaft of sunlight lately released from the intimate shadows of the day seeking sanctuary   A Yellowhammer was seen near the River Dun in May 2020

I have often wondered what my life would be life without my cunt It has brought me nothing but trouble and I am far too fond of it I am plump and men do not desire me they just want to fuck me without passion My fictional husband sometimes visits me in my fragile dreams…

My name is Molly and I am named after a recreational drug which I use on a frequent basis She is now over one hundred years old having been synthesized in the years before my unremarkable birth

On the sixth day of the apocalypse I found Great Nancy at the allotment tending to our runner beans She was as normal wearing her scruffy dungarees and a pale blue tee shirt Her bright yellow wellington boots were near the outdoor tap having been hosed down To clarify things we were not facing an…

I live in an ornamental pond Whose waters are sourced From the natural springs Under the village church I have often wanted to travel And leave these pure waters But my wings are too heavy To consider this recreation

Just over six months ago I purchased the latest MX4 which was more commonly known as MOLLY My reason for purchasing MOLLY was simple as I needed company when I visited The Water House I was the founder of ZEN a very successful software company and we were about to diversify into domestic androids MOLLY…

I had been living in St Margaret’s Bay for some months and had begun running as the weather improved It was then that I noticed a woman who must have weighed some 100 kilos swimming in the sea each morning She was as naked as the day was clear which surprised me a little given…

As a present to ourselves after the dreadful lockdown Foss and I decided to travel to the coast on an express train The only thing that I found a little disturbing was that Foss had invited Hilda His favourite mannequin who was also a dedicated nudist Although we were on own in railway carriage due…

Why is a raven like a writing desk  Asked the Mad Hatter of Alice I do not know the answer to your question  Answered Alice looking distinctly puzzled The Mad Hatter touched his pointed chin and smiled You are in good company Alice as I do not know the answer either In a tree not…

For many years I thought that I had a painting on my wall Whose title was Combat de nègres dans un tunnel That was until I married my budgerigar BERTIE Who told me that I was deeply nocturnal And had been staring at my landing window For the past thirty seven years