Stuart Miller-Osborne

An elderly lady collapsed whilst painting a lamp post And was taken to hospital suffering from heat exhaustion I offered to finish painting the lamp post chocolate brown And was given a large leather glove not suited to the task On a paddle steamer off of the coast of Vietnam An American journalist heard about…

Cutie Pie Said I am high With a sigh As she removed Her tie

Of late Henry has found himself feeling uncomfortable on his journey to work At first he thought it was a problem that he had acquired A feeling of being smelly and grimy and smelling of shit But it was not him but the many advertisements on the trains On the Central Line he counted eight…

As August fades the summer seems to be drawing to a close But September is a joker who plays with our emotions Sometimes she is dull and pretends to be grey and cool And then she removes her shirt and joins you on a sunny beach Her humour is not always appreciated by the other…

I often walk with myself but we take different routes I do not have a favourite colour as I am deaf I prefer the sun to the moon I often weep but have no understanding of the emotion I own six green velvet jackets I have a cat but I do not feed it I…

peterthepianistplayedchopinsrevolutionaryinmygardenontheoccasionofhisbirthday hefollowedthisupbyplayingtroisgymnopediesbysatie  

The Flying Moors were a Swiss circus family Who travelled throughout Europe in the years between the wars They were famous for their daring trapeze and high wire acts There is a memorial to the family in a village not far from Bern I am the last survivor of this famous family And have written…

The damp surfboards are being stacked as the evening draws A lad wearing a red shirt and black shorts is securing them for the night In the distance the jetty is still bathed in sunshine and holidaymakers Are exploring its sea length with a great interest There is something languid about this theatre Nobody is…

A woman had been attacked near the oilfields And Jesus of Nazareth was the main suspect But I knew this to be untrue as Jesus was a kind and gentle man And was not capable of such an evil It was then that I decided to find the culprit myself I dressed as an itinerant…

Sakky had purchased an atlas from a bookshop in the mall As she was planning to travel the world But when she opened it Each of its pages were blank The only exception was page twenty-eight Which contained a yellow pencil Plus an invitation from God To redesign the world As his previous model had…