Stuart Miller-Osborne

Whilst listening to Mahler at the Proms I noticed that Veronika was not wearing any underwear When I asked her the reason why She noted that it was easier to piss And thanked me for my interest    

The Escape Tunnel On the eve of my execution I found an escape tunnel That led to the local bus stop I escaped and waited for the early morning bus So that I might attend my own execution   Trips to German Cities Are undertaken in the summer Between the months of May and September […]

Served hot meals To their visitors And provided comfortable beds In their cells They tended their gardens with a feminine authority That hid their labours without effort Although young in years many of the nuns looked older Worn out by the hot Italian sun They prayed five times a day And six times on the […]

Graffiti added to poster noting engineering works at Nuneaton Railway Station Colin Cooks Catherine’s Cunt Creatively (Geraniums) Read the book now    

The Girl with a Red Rose The girl with the red rose is wearing a yellow dress and long black gloves which match her raven hair She is contemplating infinity   Solange et Moi In her monochrome flat Solange sipped a monochrome drink Whilst watching a monochrome TV When I returned from my colourful travels […]

This morning I saw a grey-squirrel Running after my train It seemed to run in slow-motion Stop-start-stop-start-stop-start-stop-start I am told that Addison-Sparrows Exhibit similar behavioural patterns But they do follow fast-moving-trains    

On the sixty-fourth day of his war Lieutenant Curtis White found himself in a ruined Funta-Forna town Since they were landed on very bleak beach full of slaughtered soldiers they had moved surprisingly fast through the lush countryside meeting little or no resistance It was when they reached the small town of Lousu that they […]

When I was thirteen I saw a movie at my local Odeon called Cul-de-sac which made a lasting impression on me As soon as I returned home I tore my posters of revolutionary leaders from my bedroom walls and defecated on each in turn Starting with Mao and ending with Che A week later I […]

When Robert Returned from Goa He brought me a phial of opaque sand Sandra received a toy bear dressed as a sailor hailing from Cornwall He gave his mother a small mug which showed an early photograph of Whitehaven harbour Robert later explained that his travel company had filed for bankruptcy before their holiday and […]

Ilsetraut Blue was sitting on the green beach watching the Margaret of Anjou dock with the help of the two tired tugboats She was wearing a yellow dress The owner of the largest ice cream parlour in the town was sitting next to her His name Gigi Bertorelli They had been friends for many years […]