Stuart Miller-Osborne

Exiled from your homeland You have farmed This derelict land For twelve winters It is unlikely that you will return To the country of your birth And you know That you will fade Without protest Into these unforgiving hills   Two Polish soldiers who were exiled after serving in the Second World War found refuge…

After tea I walked the short distance to the sea and waited I had only been there a short while when I saw Beryl walking down the road towards the beach She was wearing a green bathing suit with a tropical towel wrapped around her waist My luck was in as a train from Minehead…

Why are big breasted Shakespearian scholars discussing the roles of the minor characters with me? I do not admire these lectures And why are their snow ski’s speaking to me from the cupboards under the stairs? It is a well-known fact that I hate skiing Find out the answers to these two pressing questions and…

I had been awake for just over an hour and was watching a tiny Jenny Wren jump from branch to branch on a small tree that shaded my kitchen window My phone rang Houston we have a problem Is that you Viola? Yes Has your brother traced you? No it is far worse than that…

I OFTEN STOLE UNDERWEAR FROM MY MOTHERS DRAWER AND POSTED THE ITEMS TO MY MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT AS HE DID NOT WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW WHAT A CUNT HE REALLY WAS   This wretched piece of doggerel was added to a random library book by the author on the 9th of August 2017  

On the 9th of August 2017 Beryl Quail an eighty-nine year old widow was hit by a bus in the Fishponds area of Bristol She was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident Witnesses said that Mrs Quail was looking at the pink rainbow that occurred over the city on Monday evening when the…

On the 8th of August 1962 I threw Viola Gresham’s severed arm into the sea near Blue Anchor Railway Station I had hoped that she would recover from the time accident But I have had no contact with her since that day Her brother is still chasing me through time but he is now tired…

I am in a corrugated iron shed at the Blue Anchor Railway Station in Somerset Viola Gresham is hiding with me She has a serious time disease Which can only the sea can cure I can see the sea from the shed But we cannot swim in the sea During daylight hours As Viola has…

I am sitting on Blue Anchor Railway Station in Somerset It is two for twins day I am sitting with my twin sister She is not wearing underwear The Blue Lobster is aware of this fact And looks up her skirt as she crosses her legs   Blue Lobster Plain Maid Planning Murder With her…

You wrote your essay about Enobarbus quite naked in your bedroom You locked the door to extinguish interruptions and lifted your pen I will do justice to your name You said As I was also Anthony’s loyal friend   But you are aware of Anthony’s foolish infatuation He will lose the war So you do…