Stuart Miller-Osborne

I must say that I do not trust The irrigation channels Near our cherished church As I think a great flood Is not that far away

A syphilitic maiden much worn Now walks amongst us She will do much damage As she hands out sweets To primates whose lips Are bitter and misshapen

Why are small rooms in country cottages So erotic As there is nothing special about them

You are a very beautiful woman How many lovers have you had Possibly too many to count I am thinking of writing a poem About you What would you call it Lovers or Jessie’s Lovers But I do need some direction As many as the red flowers In that blue iced vase I think would…

I have just written two lightly erotic poems To celebrate the end of January As I wanted to offer a gratitude To this often forgotten month

I had only lived in the city For just over six months When I met Clive Who offered to illustrate My latest book of poems Which was called Blood Orange and Rhododendrons He lived in Chiswick with Mina Who I had never met Although I knew she was Maltese When I arrived I surprised to…

An American girl named Blood Orange Looked after the gardens during the week And although distant at first these lonely women Slowly became friends and shared the garden duties In an effort to improve the radiance of the square At the end of September Blood Orange Accepted Alex’s offer to share her home And has…

It was a shared but neglected garden In the middle of Golden Square Having been designed and laid out When Queen Victoria was on the throne After Grahame left their marriage Alex spent more and more time there It was her refuge away from all the sorrows That had seemed to have overtaken her

Sweet Spot A guy walks into a sweet shop  He recognises the girl  Behind the counter  As an ex girlfriend  He asks her  If her sweet spot  Was still in the same place  I do not think that joke is funny  In some ways it is offensive  You assume that it was a joke  Does…

On the final day of the winter A white envelope fell from my door Fragile do not bend was written crudely Next to my address which had been misspelt It contained three black and white photographs Which to my great surprise showed Miriam and Julie In what appeared to be a bar in Glasgow On…