Stuart Miller-Osborne

Why did you flash your breasts to the pope He promised to discuss The mysteries of gold But did not speak to me Why did that both(er) you Have you noticed that I am growing A third leg Will you paint your toenails Blush black I wanted to discuss this with the pope Before my…

Robert would you what you are seeing I find your painting very confusing It is obviously a crucifixion But why are so many mothers Feeding their babies in the crowd

Does it always rain like this In the winter yes But it is mid July You are soaked Diana Pop into Anne’s room Where you will find dry clothes I will pour you a whiskey Did you paint this Yes What is its title The Green Butler Why did you call it that Because the…

I have discovered an unusual fact What is that Martin Marrin Sir Walter Walter Raleigh Have you heard the story Of the puddle and Queen Elizabeth No He is said to have placed his cloak Over a puddle For the Queen to walk over It was an act of chivalry To gain her great favour…

Joe Sam Long time no see For me it was Long time too much sea How are you Mending My nose injury was more serious than I thought You were hit by a boon I was hit by my own stupidity It was like standing on a railway line And wondering why a train hits…

Susan waited for the returning crews And greeted them in a joyful manner Whenever they visited the hotel bookshop They frequently brought her exotic gifts

From her hotel bedroom Susan watched as her planes Vanished in to the milk clouds But she had no plans to fly Her duties in the hotel bookshop Prevented her from travelling So she read about visiting False countries distant from her own

Last night I dreamt About a black snake Eating its own tail Although this was not A pleasant dream I felt strangely comforted

Heloïse was naked in our bed I was wearing a pink nightdress Outside the sky was heavy and grey We fell back into our shared dreams The sky was light bright and white We sat directly opposite each other Heloïse was wearing a pink nightdress And I was naked on a wooden chair

In the last two years I have published two thrillers Simply written well constructed and very readable They were both set in the county of Gloucestershire My detective Paul Patterson tries to solve cold cases Whilst investigating more recent and pressing crimes Substitute the Poems is my latest novel It is due to be published…