Stuart Miller-Osborne

I like to think that I am apolitical As I have fucked women From all the major parties Jill from the Lib Dems Asked if I might eat her slowly From the garden upwards Moira from the Conservatives Was obsessed with watching me piss Into all her important holes I will not discuss what Issy…

I will wipe my arse On socialist magazines As they are fit for nothing else The same can be said About socialists And their grubby flags For as they plan Pathetic revolutions In draughty church halls They are obviously harbouring Unclean and illegal thoughts As pederasts often do

Do you remember the days When one could take a train From anywhere to nowhere As long as one changed at Ashford Just Ashford and not Ashford International As it is no longer International This said it is a handsome station In a modern sort of way to be continued on another day

An artist friend of mine Once told me That it was his ambition To become a portrait painter On the surface of the moon It is obvious that this Was an impossible dream As there are no shops That sell artist materials Anywhere on the moon

Sabine is by the pool She spends a great deal Of her time in the vicinity Of the lower terrace Watching me swim naked Even though she is fully dressed When I ask her why I always receive an identical reply In another life Edith In another life Erotic Poems of Summer

Means that by the very act of thinking It proves the existence of a thinking entity A self that does the thinking It establishes the certainty Of ones own existence Even if everything else is doubted It comes so easily to you Rufus Why do you call yourself Tuppence Tuppence My name is not Tuppence…

I tend to drift around cities Anon Nobody notices me I prefer it this way A girl that does not exist But secretly I am a freedom fighter As I vandalise advertisements A dick here a cunt there Happy and sad faces Or just fucking confused I was arrested the other day By a snorting…

Most educated people Know what this means But I am now doubting As I live in a country That once ruled the waves Yet its rats still drown In its flooded drains

Hi my name is Joe who is not here I am sailing the seven seas With my sister Josephine And my fiancée Sephine (yes it is true) But we have had 2 return As my silly mummy Managed to break her leg Whilst she was in Egypt Thankfully it is not 2 serious I am…

Little boy blue Come blow your horn The sheep’s in the meadow The cow’s in the corn Where’s the boy that Looks after the sheep He’s under the haystack Fast asleep I was born in Manchester and raised in Chelsea Or so I was told by my parents dear I preferred my southerly home As…