Stuart Miller-Osborne

Whilst walking around the town Yesterday afternoon Jane found a small shop That sold candy stripe shorts She chose two pairs From the shop near the church One blue and one cerise As when we arrived at our lodgings Jane had found that she had forgotten her shorts Which given the weather was highly inconvenient…

Whilst walking around the town Yesterday afternoon I reasoned that if I caught A train from St Ives Then I would arrive in Bombay At some stage in the future Unless I became lost en route

It is a little known fact That Billy the Kid was buried With a jar of catcus cream In his waistcoat pocket This jar had been grazed by the bullet That killed him on that dull afternoon

Was sad when she received the news As Billy had been on a errand When his uncle shot him dead She had asked him to go to the drugstore As she needed some more catcus cream Which removes excessive underarm hair

What motivates me to write poetry If I knew that I would probably not write I am motivated by beauty Yet my poems are ugly I often discuss the meanings Of my nightly dreams That are instantly forgotten When I open my weary eyes Do dogs write poetry I think that they might Understand poetry…

I have been very tired recently Too many days on the road Yesterday I was found Sleeping on the grass At a Techno Festival It is nice that Julie Looks out for me

I am pleased to say that Billy the Kid Has returned to the dry cleaners He was much missed when he left Things are slowly returning to normal

My father owns a large farm He is the biggest employer In the district On Thursday he purchased A new blue tractor Much to the delight Of the local church My sister Gertie Is teaching it to swim In the shallows Of a local river

The seventh month was saying goodbye In the sweetest way Today there were strong clouds Hanging heavily over my town I almost drowned In the colours of her day

I had spent most of my day Sitting in the garden with Anita Who was an expert on apples We were collaborating As we often did in the summer Three different varieties of apples Were on my small wooden table Near the shattered back door Which had been damaged During the dreadful storm