Stuart Miller-Osborne

Male ******* experience a condition known as stupidity during which their hormone levels particularly testosterone can increase up to one hundred times above their baseline levels This surge causes a significant spike in aggression and temperament That is wicked but very funny Joe Sometimes Your pen is sharper Than your sword Josephine x

The King was condemned to push A huge boulder slowly up a hill Until he reached its distant summit The boulder would then loosen And roll into a vast and fertile valley Causing a great and ever lasting damage I had known my King for many years And his daily torment grieved me I had […]

I recently walked across a sandy beach at high tide And found a great number of quite beautiful shells Some had been fused together by the forces of the sea These were my favourites and I have since displayed them In prominent positions around my small gardens blue

We had a small sweet shop Near the nuclear power station In my home village Before it burnt down Before it burnt down It was called Merry Maids And run by my three sisters Who had identical chests and prominent nipples They were named Nicky Nichola Susan and Dave My favourite sister was Mandy All […]

He had lost his right arm during the civil war But the loss did not hinder him in the least As he fought with left his arm His ghost arm remaining dormant This is how I met him just after university I was a naive English girl with a marble complexion Whereas he was rugged […]

Matilda Jones Had no bones Even in a dress She looked a mess This is the only poem Ever written About Matilda Jones And her lack of bones

About two days after we arrived My wife came up to me and asked Why am I naked Even though she was fully dressed I looked at her intensely and said That was the name that your parents gave you It could have been worse as my name is Gwen

Three people are trapped in the before life Which technically is the conclusion of the after life They are trapped in a ridiculous elevator Which although it does not move ascends and descends Whilst ignoring the wide passages of movement and time Two of the trio are women one is beautiful the other plain Both […]

I must say Gracie that you are the most beautiful girl That I have ever seen I am on the rag Graham Is that why you are wearing black Yes that is so sweet of you to notice Have you ever shit your pants Yes When Normally when I have eaten wog food by mistake […]

I saw God on my train this morning He was reading a redundant newspaper I wanted to tell all my fellow passengers But was unable to share my exciting news As between six and nine All trains run silently in LA